my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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