sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
