belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
