My hair reeks of homosexuality.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
