never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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