do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I am available for nakedness
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
