I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
