dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Randomize
