I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
