God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
