I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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