I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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