fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He did a backflip because drugs
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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