you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize