dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
