he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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