my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
you inspire me to be a worse person
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
