is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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