Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
