Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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