had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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