by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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