if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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