I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
