my soul wont recognize me after tonight
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
It's official drugs can't kill me
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
