Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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