KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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