Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize