Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
