i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
