Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
