My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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