He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize