i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
