she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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