Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
