My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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