You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
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