apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
