GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
