Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
