who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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