We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.