Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
