That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
