Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
