I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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