You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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