My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
