i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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