i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
