I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
