trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
