I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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