fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm at about main and main street
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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